


missed the sound of your heart beating (and the thought of you next to me)

by orphan_account



Series: in love with you (so hopelessly and painlessly) [1]
Category: The Martian (2015)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, and then dumb shit happened, it turned into angst pretty soon, it was supposed to be cute, mark adores chris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 15:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4793123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark Watney is touch starved.</p><p>He’s not embarrassed of it either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	missed the sound of your heart beating (and the thought of you next to me)

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this without knowing anyone had any works in this ship and now i found some and I'm literally so overjoyed I'm gonna go read it all. honestly this ship is my life lately bc idk I'm really into the book and so excited for the movie!!!!! also i was gonna write some cutie patootie mark cuddling with chris in his bunk but then it turned all angsty and awkward so forgive me !!

Mark Watney is touch starved.

He’s not embarrassed of it either.

It’s not like he should be; he’s been on Mars for almost two years, completely alone. So he hugs Johanssen during breakfast because she lets him droop sleepily into her arms and makes up overly complicated handshakes with Vogel, who doesn’t quite get it right, but that’s okay because touching his crewmate gives Mark a sense of security, even though it’s platonic.

It’s tells him that it’s okay and that he’s surrounded, that he’s no longer alone and there are people with him. And though Commander Lewis hardly gives into one of Mark’s hugs, she does sit beside him sometimes and that alone gives Mark the comfort of knowing that his Commander is with him. Not to mention Martinez, who openly laughs and pulls Mark into hearty bear hugs several times a day.

It’s nice to know his crew understands.

And though Johanssen has lovely morning hugs, and watching Vogel try to do the Vulcan salute is priceless, Mark craves the touch of one person above others; Beck’s.

So after Commander Lewis insists that everyone go to bed, Mark waits. He waits for the Commander to finish up any checks on the Hermes and then proceeds pad out of his bunk quietly and slip into Beck’s.

Chris’s bunk is silent as Mark crawls into his bed, fingers automatically seeking the warmth of Chris’s skin. He gives Chris a prod and Chris turns around, facing Mark.

“Hey,” He murmurs tiredly, blinking a few times to adjust to the darkness. Mark huddles closer, throwing one leg over Chris’s waist and scooting closer. He doesn’t stop until their noses are touching and Mark’s hand is splayed protectively over the small of Chris’s back.

“Hey, there, Doc.” Mark replies with a small smile he’s sure Chris can’t see. He can feel Chris’s hand adjust into the crook of Mark’s neck, fingers twirling aimlessly through the hair on the nape of his neck.

“How’re you feeling?” Chris asks, and Mark can make out his furrowed brows in a grey darkness.

“Just peachy.” Mark says honestly because yeah, he’s feeling just fine. And even better now that he has Chris wrapped up in his arms. Mark let’s his fingers trail down Chris’s tailbone, sliding under his shirt and pressing into the warm skin of hip.

A comfortable silence falls over the bunk as Chris adjusts, lips brushing against Mark’s jaw. His lashes flutter against Mark’s cheek, breaths falling even and slow. There’s a weight to Chris’s presence, his body, solid and warm pressed close to Mark, who in turn tugs his crewmate in even closer, if that’s even possible.

“Space is so quiet.” Mark says finally, breaking the silence that’s settled against them.

Chris chuckles, raspy and breathless, letting his fingers dance across Mark’s right shoulder. Mark can feel him push the neckline of his shirt to the side a little, the pads of Chris’s fingers digging into his shoulder blade.

“It is, isn’t it?” Chris comments in a silvery voice, sucking in a deep breath.

Mark hums, nosing at Chris’s cheek and tilting his head slightly to press a tiny kiss to the corner to Chris’s mouth. Mark can feel the curve of his mouth against his lips, unable to help the crooked smile that stretches over his own mouth.

Mark moves his leg off of Chris’s hip, laying flat on his back, his hand pulling away from Chris’s skin. He sighs deeply, fingers entwining with Chris’s, who sits up a little, throwing one leg over Mark’s waist and settling into his lap comfortably. Mark grabs Chris’s other hand, clutching them both tightly within his own. Chris’s weight is deep and comfortable on top of Mark and he leans down, nudging his mouth against Mark’s, kissing him.

Like always, Chris’s mouth is incredibly soft and warm, lips parting slightly to let Mark swipe his tongue between them. He makes a breathless noise when Mark’s hands tug at the hem of his shirt, pulling it up enough to allow Mark a hand across Chris’s abdomen.

They pull away, Mark’s lips slick and Chris’s breathing shallow.

“I missed you so fucking much,” Mark admits and Chris sighs, tracing a finger over the lines of Mark’s jaw.

“I know, Mark, I missed you like hell.” Chris cocks his head to the side and Mark squints a little, taking in the sight. They don’t talk about it much, Mark’s loneliness on Mars. And if he’s being completely honest, Mark doesn’t need to. He’s here and he’s alive, holding Chris. It feels like the rest is in the past. Not that he’ll forget, no fucking way. But it’s easier to ignore like this, distracted by the company of Chris.

“I don’t know what I would've done if, if you --” Chris’s voice is pained and heavy, cracking at the end.

Mark sits up as best he can, head tipping back.

“Don’t, Chris…” He pauses, emotion clawing it’s way up his throat, “please.”

Chris’s eyes are shiny, glistening with unshed tears and Mark looks away. He doesn’t want this. He never did. Seeing Chris like this is a blow to his chest and Mark hopes he never has to witness it again.

“It’s all my fault, you know?” Chris continues in a whisper, fingers gripping at Mark’s even tighter as he rocks back, “I was the one who pronounced you dead.”

Mark shakes his head fiercely, slipping one hand out of Chris’s grasp and using it to cup his jaw. He brushes his thumb over Chris’s temple, shutting his eyes briefly.

“I swear, Chris, if ever say that again I’m gonna…” He trails off emptily, mostly because his threat holds no truth.

“How stupid was I, honestly?” Chris blinks a few times, attempting to crawl out of Mark’s lap but can’t. Mark has two arms wrapped tightly around his torso.

“Shuddup, Chris,” Mark mumbles into the crook of Chris’s neck, nose nudging against his collarbones.

“Don’t blame yourself for this, it couldn’t be helped. You only said what you saw and that was my flatlining bio monitor. Commander Lewis did the same but I just, I want you guys to know that it wasn’t your fault.”

_And that I love you so fucking much that it physically pains me, don’t blame yourself you idiot._

Silence falls over them again, covering them in a thick blanket of endless questions and unspoken confessions. Chris’s breathing is even again, hands carding through Mark’s hair. Mark inhales against Chris’s neck, unable to stop himself from kissing above Chris’s collarbone. He tastes empty, like nothing and yet everything. It’s a baffling concept that Mark has no business exploring. Not yet, anyway.

“You should go back to bed,” Chris says finally.

_Let me stay with you, please._

He nods instead, “yeah, okay.”

Chris crawls off of Mark, pushing himself out of the way as Mark slips out of the bed, unable to look back as he leaves to join his own cold, Chris-less bunk.

“G’night, Chris.” He mutters half heartedly to himself, turning and facing the wall.

**Author's Note:**

> i will def be writing more of this pairing bc um hell ye idk i really wanna explore their characters especially mark and his emotions and feelings, like the confusion and loneliness and yeah! :) hope u liked it aha.
> 
> u should def come find me on tumblr :)
> 
> boocananbarnes.tumblr.com


End file.
